The Process

Recently, I got shot down by some one (not saying who), who made comments that made me realize, this person doesn't believe in what I'm doing with my life.  Wow, it shook me hard.  Because of who they are in my life.  This made me re-evaluate everything, I mean EVERY thing in my life.  Especially the fact that I live in Taiwan and am doing mission work that looks "different".

I'm not writing this to prove anything to anyone, because I know this person would never read this blog...it's more just sharing what God has shown me through this process.
Here are 3 things that I feel like God has been showing me and I feel like all of us need in order to not be led astray because our very hearts are deceptive (Jeremiah 17:9)...AND the enemy is constantly lying to us!

1.  Continual and daily study in the Word:  In 2 Tim 3:¹⁶ "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness".
Through out this time the Lord put Prov 16:9 heavy on my heart.  
"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." And I just believe that I am where God meant to put me.  It's not a mistake.  We are being led by Him. This leads to #2

2.  We have the Holy Spirit to guide us.  He is our helper and lives inside of us. Romans 8:14 "For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God".  I don't need to doubt that God is with me and speaks to me.
 
3. Having the right kind of accountability.  We live in a YWAM community where the SBS (Biblical School) is solid.  The study is of the entire Bible, going through each book inductively.  Which means, going through the Historical background, putting your shoes in the Authors shoes of WHY they even wrote the book or letter and also learning about the Original Readers/Hearers of that book.  Amazing school, teachings are sound, people here would be quickly confronted if living and or teaching something not biblically sound.  Why do I share this?  Because, this is our community.  I think if we were to be living "off" we would be people of concern.  But instead, our leaders encourage us and believe in us.  In fact they do so much that my husband is also in a leadership position.

Like I said, I am not trying to show off or defend myself...and I apoligize if it seems that way.  Honestly this was a hard process for me to go through and I cried a lot.  At one point I felt like maybe some big decisions in my life was a mistake.  I'm just trying to show you how I processed what happened when someone very close  to me (but doesn't live near me to see my day to day), doubted me and my life.  I went to the Word and have been Inductively studying it over the years.  I seeked the Lord and prayed for the Holy Spirit to lead me.  And I looked at those who know us best, who work beside us day to day and know our character, to see what kind of things they would say about us.  And maybe, just maybe, this 3 step process could help you if you were ever at a point where you wanted to evaluate where you are in your life.

We're not perfect.  We need Jesus.  But I do think we are where God has us.  I do believe we are living a life that glories Him and not ourselves. 

Sleeves

I know I talk about my sins a lot...I'm an open book with them and I carry them on my sleeve.
I guess my point in doing so is to show that I carry Jesus's amazing forgiveness and grace on my other sleeve.  I hope to show both sleeves as I talk and share about how I am and just, doing life.  If I only mention my sin sleeve and go on and on about that...please feel free to interupt me and remind me of my second and more important sleeve...the one that I should have my focus on!

My Rock Star Husband!

I am a blessed woman.  I'm married to a man that is so in love with me.  Sins and all.
This morning, I was thinking about this one sin in my life that if it had been the other way around, I don't think I could handle it the way Chris has.  For something he should've held against me and made me feel bad about, he's continuously shown me patience and grace.  He tells me he'll pray for me more and that he's sad to see me struggle.  I'm so humbled by his response and I can see that he's showing Jesus to me.  Wow!  I'm seriously one blessed girl!  His response helps me to move on.  To try harder and be better.  I sincerely hope that I can be a better wife to him, showing Jesus' love to him as well.

Today IS the BEST DAY of my LIFE!!!

   I need to quote Beth Moore again from the Passion 2014 Conference.  "Today is the best day of my life because I am one day closer to seeing my Lord Jesus face to face".
   This morning I went to our weekly corporate worship and meeting.  It'd been a while since I've gone because I usually just let my husband go while I watch the kids.  This morning I felt particularly excited to worship our God and to run to Him!  I'd been struggling with something.  My mind constantly distracted. I got on my knees before I left the house and asked that I could worship Him without my mind wandering, just to be engulfed by Him.
   During worship, God gave me a vision of me going uphill on fist size rocks that were so unstable that I kept slipping down and eventually crawling uphill grabbing the rocks on the ground to help me keep going.  Jesus appeared before me, standing, and he lifted my face up, took my hand and let me stand on solid ground again.  At this point I remembered the comment Beth Moore said and felt so overwhelmed by joy.  One day I will stand before my King, my friend and I will be able to feel His hand on my face and see His Beautiful Glorious Face...face to face.  I can't wait...and every day I live, I'm closer to that day.  That awesome day. 
   That is what I want to live for. 
   That is why today is better than yesterday...always until that glorious day.  

Guilty As Charged

I feel guilty all the time.  Guilty for yelling at my kids, yet again.  Guilty for not being the "ideal" wife.  Guilty for doubting God with His provisions.  Guilt, guilt, guilt.  And so what does the Lord say.  You are guilty.  Guilty of sin.  But remember the cross.  Repent, and remember that you are also forgiven.
Lord, thank you.
Philippians 3:13,14 "But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Money, money, money

Money is funny.  Money makes us funny. Why does it do that?

All I have to do is remember that all the money in the world belongs to God.  That means all the money in my wallet and my bank account belongs to Him too.  We're just stewards...He's the owner.  Just like our very lives.  Our bodies...it's His.  We are just the stewards...He's the owner of it all.

Lord, may my life bring You glory.  Not just in the way I live, but in the way I spend and give money also.

Vision

   Being a missionary, stay at home mom of 3, it's easy to lose sight of the big picture.  Over the past few months, we battled with food poisoning, lice, a seizure from our youngest and me passing out on the floor in the middle of the night - some being consequences of traveling and doing ministry at a 3rd world country with the entire family.  During this time it was easy to lose focus of the WHY are we even doing all of this.  All I'm trying to do is make it through the day!
  We finally made it through and the Lord has been incredibly faithful to us.  BUT I've lost my passion and vision...here's something that I had to borrow this from Kris Valloton Ministries.  I'm going to pray about and write up my vision/mission statement that the Lord gave me a while ago.  This is helping me to remember what it's all for, hope it helps you too.